Alien Comedy Lover Gifts

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Well, that one got away."

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Alien attack in the 1950s

"Word has it Earthlings have been using some of our people for cruel scientific experiments."

"Ooops...wrong doctor !"

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

"It's Houston. They have a problem."

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

'Careful! A spark could start a new universe.'

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

"Sorry about all the talk of annihilation - that was just Keith getting carried away."

"It is called A Night to Remember. It portrays a ritual mating dance from the early 21st-century."

New York Stock Exchange. Wall St. To err is human, but this is ridiculous!

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Planetary Invasion Supplies Store - Abduct Tape.

'I know we came in peace but these ones are already half cooked.'

Man Reading story 'U.F.O. Sighted' with alien peeking over his shoulder.

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"Could you help me with this?"

Chalk Bored

"Zorg, why didn't your PowerPoint presentation addresses the invasion size differential?"

"I got cut off by a red sports car!"

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

'I like jazz rock fusion. It's the kind of music we'd compose if we had music.'