Algorithm Critic Pillows

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

No Elgar!

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

Early Programmers.

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

Hidden Facebook Features

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Capitalism

"We all agree it's a great resume, but I'm afraid our computer doesn't like you!"

"This new software is amazing...it can identify potential insurance liabilities long before any risk is even identified..."

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

Introducing...The Smart-Ass Phone

"Bloody privatisation, have you got 50p?"

"Don wrote our hiring algorithm."

It makes me MAD when people think we've nothing better to do than churn out pointless protocols...