Algorithm Critic Pillows

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

No Elgar!

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

Early Programmers.

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'How did you arrive at this price?' - 'Our computer has a new random generator.'

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Data Extraction Social Media Theme Park

Hidden Facebook Features

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

"As your new President I shall govern by algorithm."

Capitalism

You Shouldn't Have

"We all agree it's a great resume, but I'm afraid our computer doesn't like you!"

"I figure the odds of you being the smartest girl in the class for three years in a row are practically zero."

Fakebook

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"This new software is amazing...it can identify potential insurance liabilities long before any risk is even identified..."

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

Introducing...The Smart-Ass Phone

The boss said he could never replace me with a computer? That's right --- because computers sometimes experience power surges.

"Bloody privatisation, have you got 50p?"

Humans rarely use cash anymore. It's all electronic transfers in and out. Computer algorithms target them with ads, telling them what to buy. More and more, computer programs select marriage partners for them. And now we're seeing electronics override human drivers in cars! Only alarmists worry about electronic devices taking over the world and controlling our lives. Sometimes they are just so funny!

"Don wrote our hiring algorithm."