Alarm Clock Rebel Gifts

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'Sorry I'm late - I was asleep when my alarm went off.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Jungle Taxi

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

Big Ben

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

'I see, from your resume, that you have lost your last two jobs because of lateness.'

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

"Sorry, lady, we gotta quit for the day. Our radio broke."

'Murdock oversleeps every day - He's always an accessory AFTER the fact.'

Cluster Catastrophe

'I'm running into lots of trouble with my ambition to be a shock jock.'

Lance, the more I drink, the funnier you get! That's why the Fusco brothers are starting a campaign urging Americans to pour beer over their breakfast cereal instead of milk, as they read the comics.

'So when this alarm goes off you come and jump on me and lick my face.'

Bassoonist cherub.

"It's Monday."

"Here's another good one, some bloke reckons we should pay for software!"

'Looks like Dolson had one more energy drink for the road again.'

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

"Sleazy listening FM. We always lower the tone."

100% effective Talk-Radio alarm.

"Great! You're hired."

Burglar Alarm

Little Marjorie in Delusionland

'If I cancel an hour before my appointment, you charge me. I've just waited an hour past my appointment time in your waiting room. This is my bill.'