Aisle Aficionado Gifts

'In this aisle I'm a real fortune teller - I 'NO' all.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Bad for you but to die for

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Beer Stall

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Driverless cars rage.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Happy thoughts

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'