Airport Socializer Gifts

Waiting at an airport for 'anyone who wants to talk about their trip'.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

"Practicing my hate-face."

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."

'I gained many useful leads, renewed relationships with various potential customers and established a number of contacts...'

The Devil's advocaat.

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

Getting old...

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

"I’ve only been able to find movies, music, and restaurants that I kind of like using apps, but I’m hoping they’ll lead me to the love of my life."

University Challenged

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"You ruin every virtual party we go to!"

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

"Every bar has its obnoxious drunk."

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

"This one looks promising... likes sushi, long winter nights and chilling out in large groups."

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

"It can never work out between us. You're selfie, Instagram, and twitter shy."

It's called 'Pretentious.' It tastes like crap, but it's $100 per bottle!

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

"David! It's only trendy to drink beer straight from the bottle!"

"You're a plumber, I'm a doctor. Now that I've given you some free medical advice, how about stepping into my kitchen and fixing my leaky faucet?"

'They all work from home now, but still get together for carpool reunions.'

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.