Airport Escapologists T-Shirts

"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Hell: The Airport"

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

'Do you have a flight that will get us to Gate 2?'

Security at the Smaller Airports

Houdini 2019

"It's my emotional support animal."

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

'If you lose my briefs you can answer to the Judge!'

Magician at Customs - 'Nothing up your sleeve hey...?'

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

Excess Baggage

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

'Wait for me!'

"Can you just fetch our red ones, dear?"

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

Tortured by music

'Those set it off everytime.'

"We don't consider you luggage 'lost', we like to think it's off on an adventure."

Customs at the L.A. Airport

Where lost luggage goes. . .

Phil would try anything to avoid paying hefty airport parking fees.

'I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods.'

'It was shocking, the noise, the squalor. I saw people in complete despair, lost bereft of hope. And that was just at the airport.'

"He's ready to retire but the removal of the triple lock could be a problem."