Airline Loyalty Prints

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"Don't you know who I am?! I demand an upgrade! I'm a platinum-plus frequent fly..."

"We didn't drag you off the plane. That WAS your frequent flyer reward."

"I didn't jump the queue. As a first class platinum passenger I get priority and only have to wait 18 hours at the check-in."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus Christ

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Please feel free to browse."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

God and His Copilot.

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...