Air Travel Aficionado Pillows

"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."

'Any restrictions on the amount of luggage you can lose?'

"I'm sure he does bring you your slippers and your morning paper, but that still doesn't make him a service dog."

'Don't worry, dude, that's not the intercom -- here, gimme the manual.'

'Okay on three jump.'

Welcome to business class. Are you a member of big business or small business?

Looking at all these planes, it strikes me as strange that we say people are "grounded" when they're stable and reliable.

"Stop scratching your head. I know you've got an itchy scalp, but the passengers get the wrong impression."

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"So how are things back in economy?"

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Approaching Runway 3?

Flight of the Sumo

Crew Quiet Rooms

Excess Baggage: If airlines are so concerned about on-time performance that they won't hold your connecting flight for 5 minutes, then why do they never arrive on schedule?

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

"Here ya go."

"Is one really in first class if there is no one in coach...?"

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'What happened to you sir?' - 'I walked out of the in-flight movie.'

"I can't believe they put us in dog class!"

'I'll pass on the liqueurs ,you never know who's watching out there...'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'I flew first class once.. it was neat!'

'I won't buy a ticket just to get a club soda.'

The Corn Zeppelin

Complimentary beverages.

"It'll fit in a minute."

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

"... Yes, I've heard the expression; 'Pigs might fly'. But, never; 'Pigs might fly in business class'!"

I know it's a "pet," and I know it's a "carrier," but you're still not putting it on the airplane.

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'What zip code are we in now?'