Air Traffic Controller T-Shirts

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

'On the plus side folks, we'll be landing way, way ahead of schedule.'

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'Oops' Plane crash

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'

Believe me VHT=003. You are too low!!

Air traffic controllers AGM

"Yippe! Join the dots"

" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

'Where's air traffic control?'

OOPS!

Hi Jack! - Plane passengers confuse greeting.

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

For years pilots grumbled about the runway, so airport management was surprised by the grumbling when they finally fixed the problems.

The Birth of an Air Traffic Controller

'... Another software engineer!? - For God's sake woman, put him in a holding pattern...'

'The champagne flight reports six more UFOs.'

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'The crisis in air traffic control must be worse than I thought'

'I hear you work for the airlines. I bet you'd love to know about all of my horrific flying experiences...'

'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

"I can't fly - but neither can you."

"...The good news is that we'll be landing way ahead of schedule."

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."