Air Traffic Controller Prints

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

'On the plus side folks, we'll be landing way, way ahead of schedule.'

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'Oops' Plane crash

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...

'How the heck are we supposed to land on a runway that's upside down?'

"Height and position? I'm six foot tall and in the pilot's seat."

Believe me VHT=003. You are too low!!

Air traffic controllers AGM

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'

"Yippe! Join the dots"

" The 747 from New York I've just spent the last half hour trying to land was a bluebottle."

'You want to get me the owner's manual out of the glove compartment?'

OOPS!

'Where's air traffic control?'

The Birth of an Air Traffic Controller

For years pilots grumbled about the runway, so airport management was surprised by the grumbling when they finally fixed the problems.

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

Hi Jack! - Plane passengers confuse greeting.

'... Another software engineer!? - For God's sake woman, put him in a holding pattern...'

'The champagne flight reports six more UFOs.'

'Flight 437 be advised that due to computer failure we no longer have you on radar. However, for some reason, we seem to be following you on Twitter!'

'You imbecile!! Didn't i tell you to watch our altitude?! / A co-pilot accidentally flies too high ending up in heaven and smacking into an angel

'The crisis in air traffic control must be worse than I thought'

'I hear you work for the airlines. I bet you'd love to know about all of my horrific flying experiences...'

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

"I can't fly - but neither can you."

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

'It's no use, our radar is out! I'm afraid it's all up to you now Wally!!'

'You're a bit low on approach, Flight 203!'

"...The good news is that we'll be landing way ahead of schedule."

Words you don't ever want to hear: 'I keep forgetting - east, is that to the left or the right of north?'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."