Agoraphobia Awareness Advocate Pillows

'Our workforce is exceptionally stable and grounded. We only hire agoraphobics...'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

YOLO vs YODO

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

The serious corporation

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

Sewer Rats

A clown is being executed by having cream pies thrown at him.

'Don't hurt it.'

"I'm no show dog - I have Alopecia!"

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

'What it like being able to jump so high?'

One of the three blind mice

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

Why rhinos are not used as helper animals.

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

"Look, you seem nice, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I was really drunk when we met, got married and bought this house."

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

"Same time next week. Meanwhile, don't do anything silly, will you?"

"But do you feel invisible?"

For goodness sake, this is a huge field! Why do we need to huddle like this all the time?