Aging With Grace Mugs

Life Begins at 40

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Your contents have shifted."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"We REALLY do get better with age."

Parts Department

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Aging Problems

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Snail Pattern Balding.

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Don't have a hot flush....

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'