Aging Process Analyst T-Shirts

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"You reach an age where you start to question what you're DOING with your life...."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'Man...You age great!'

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

Pre-Old Blues

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Get off the lawn!"