
'My dad just wants to be treated with a little respect and dignity in his old age.' 'Don't worry. We're used to dealing with troublemakers at this home.'
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'My dad just wants to be treated with a little respect and dignity in his old age.' 'Don't worry. We're used to dealing with troublemakers at this home.'
"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."
'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'
Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.
Handle With Care
"He should be up and complaining in no time."
"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"
"Careful."
Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?
"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "
'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'
'I'm fighting ageing.'
Toothless Meal
Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.
"I've made a list of lists we need to make."
"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"
"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"
"My husband Frank still has all his own teeth...he keeps them in that jar over the fireplace!"
"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."
My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.
"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."
"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."
"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."
"The Lord brings people together for reasons only he knows."
"And I got these stretch marks on my butt from sitting in the house for months back in 2020."
Old woman with trolley full of medication.
'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'
'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'
"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."
"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."
"I look forward to growing dead with you."
"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"
What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?
"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."
We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.
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