Ageing Analyst Prints

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

Pre-Old Blues

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Don't have a hot flush....

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'Life is too long not to worry.'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"