Age Philosopher Pillows

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

'Can you imagine anything worse...'

'Nah. They're not interesting until the 200th year.'

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'

'So what's the reason for your long life? I suppose it was because I was born a long time ago.'

New Geriatric Aid.

'The fountain of youth.'

Congratulations you can no longer die young.

Happy Birthday!

The three ages of man

'Living nine hundred years is okay, except you feel so darn anachronistic!'

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

'Grandpa, would you ever wear an adult diaper?'

'Well, I still celebrate birthdays.'

'The Four Seasons of Man.

"I thought you must of been drunk last night, when you told everyone your real age."

"I always thought getting old would take longer."

You Know You're Getting Older When: You Start Noticing Gray Hair, In Your Children's Hair!

"A little birdie told me you turned seventy today."

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'Getting old is a high price to pay for maturity. . .'

"Igor, you fool! The body you've brought me is too young. Everyone knows that life begins at forty!"

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"I'm never going to another school reunion. . . you wouldn't believe how old people my age are."

"'Old enough to have been thrown off a spinning Merry-Go-Round.' Could you be more specific about your age?"

'A year is a funny thing. This year will use up a 10th of my life but only a 50th of yours...'

"Tia Carmen, why do we get old?"

"I'm too old and tired to zap prey anymore: When I do, it just tickles them..."

'An old-looking guy held the door for me today, and called me 'sir'.'

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

'-and in human years I'm the same age as George Clooney!'

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

"I wish I were older."

"I'm four and change."

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."