Age Gap Aficionado T-Shirts

"Perhaps, given time, but not too much time, you could learn to love me."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

The end of innocence

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Saguaro Cacti.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"'Till death do you part?"

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

Rational explanations

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

Baby boomers anthem.

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"Still scaring kids? Are you kidding? At my age I'm lucky if I can crawl out from under the bed."

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'Isn't it funny how the older we get, the more we become like our mothers?'

"They say you're only as old as your face."