Age-gap Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Jesus Christ! Do you realize that now I actually am fifty when you're eighty?"

'George is much older than me. When he was 6 I was only half his age...'

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"You may prefer older women now, but when you're 30, Ms. Rogers will be 60!"

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

The end of innocence

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'He's a lot older than she is.'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

"Oh, to be a Mayfly."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

Baby boomers anthem.

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Mother's dying to met you."

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

Boy, Interrupted.

'It's just part of growing old!'

'The only thing that gets easier as you grow older is getting tired.'

"I'll need to run some tests, but you have all the symptoms of being a day older."