Age-defying Strategist Gifts

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"Cheer up, dear. In five years time you'll be trying to convince everyone you're the age you are now."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Watch this! All the balls scattered at random around the table."

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

CX909708

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

Success

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

World Domination