Age-defying Humor Fans T-Shirts

Preservatives.

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

You can't get what up

Birthday To-Do List

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

Pregnant vs. Old.

Out of order, Fountain of Youth

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'm starting to look old."

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Punks with blue/pink hair meet old people with blue/pink rinses.

Yeah, well, when you're old, you'll get whiskers in weird places, too.

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

'To absent teeth.'

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

'When I was your age I was five and a hlaf years old.'

'Your diary? How come you didn't just blog it way back then?'

Bah, when I was your age, I had to walk five miles through the snow just to ... to ... Well, just to walk five miles through the snow, I guess.

Old Men on Rockers.

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'