Afterworld Analyst T-Shirts

Paradise

Truth

Off Duty.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Postcards from Heaven...

War, Senate Confirmation Hearings.

Spy Satellite

"I'll trade you the withdrawal of 5000 US troops from South Korea, in return for you dismantling 5 nukes..."

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

The Human Condition

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

Syria

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'Earth became too small. I had to opt for a bigger planet for hell.'

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

"I hope your day is going bad."

Damned if you do...

"What are the prevailing winds?"

"You didn't fill out our customer survey."

'So do I get the job or not?'

'Hell grew too large for earth. I had to relocate it to a larger planet.'

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

Possible Merger Talks

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."