Afterlife Text Messenger Prints

Epitaph: I Will Test You When I Get There

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

"I still maintain an online presence."

"I still hate you."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

Gift Cards In Hell

"I was always afraid to read it before."

Umpire holds the halos of angels playing cricket.

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'OMG!'

Heaven - "You are here" sign.

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

REmember, no cracks about "only the good die young" around Methuselah.

Grave with satellite dish.

"Unfinished business used to mean going back as a ghost. Now, thanks to the Web, you can work from here."

'Luckily, when I got to hell, I had the presence of mind to ask for a second opinion.'

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

"Before I commit. . . what's the wi-fi like?"

'Poor Dewey, All his life, he can't jump, Then he dies, goes straight to heaven, and now his wings are too small to dunk,'

"We've made contact. Here's a tweet from your late husband."

'That's right, Peters... Cancel ALL of my appointments, buy a Ouija board, and learn how to use it. I'll be in touch.'

"Sorry, no rest for the angelic either."

"Oink. No, wait...Moo. I'm hearing, 'Moo.' Does that mean anything to you?"

"Don't look so smug - you only got the job because we can't be seen to be discriminating against the living."

"Wings that don't work! Harps that don't play! Are you sure this isn't Hell?"

"Somehow I thought the whole thing would be a lot classier!"

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'

'Another hole-in-one. I guess that was predictable.'

'The right wing is a little uncomfortable. I was a Democrat.'