Afterlife Tech Enthusiast Pillows

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Before I commit. . . what's the wi-fi like?"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'Look man, no wings!'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The Final Selfie

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"From this you make a living?"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

Going Down?

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The Suite Hereafter