Afterlife Satirist T-Shirts

'Frankly, your credit score concerns me.'

New arrivals in heaven confronted by sign 'GO TO HELL'.

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

Smoking outside the Pearly Gates.

Bull greets matador at gates of heaven.

'Look at the bright side... the only thing you have to worry about now is taxes!'

Flight Insurance for Angels.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"This is so unusual...having been a politician, how did you manage to end up here?"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Even More Disciples'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You run into a window, too?"

The Ten Really Cool Facts

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

"I'll take new members any way I can get them."

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."