Afterlife Interior Decorator Pillows

"With the Coffin 3000, you can take it with you."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Use your imagination.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"You're welcome."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Shelter Cat Nap

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Books / Coffee table books

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"The next time we redecorate, how about if I choose the art?"

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

'It's my main decorating motif.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Den Furniture

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'