After Dinner Speaker T-Shirts

"I don't like the look of this"

Come dine with me!

"You owe me five bucks."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Chick in noodle soup.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

"But I told everybody at the dinner party, your honor, so how could it still be insider information?"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

"Do you two need a little more time?"

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."