Affectionate Banter Buffs Prints

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

'Don't make me come down there.'

"I love you." "I love you less."

'I hear the boss is taking roping lessons.I wonder what he's going to practice on?'

Mysteries of the ocean...

The Meaning of Humour

Ralph knew how to ruin a Notting Hill wine tasting soirée.

"My marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic is a park, right?"

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

Might And Mane

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'