Affair Adventurer T-Shirts

"Perhaps you're forgetting our agreement: 'Don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue.' "

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Relationship Warning Lights

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Love linked

"This will be hilarious!"

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

'In lieu of a serenade, I brought lemonade.'

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

Neurotics in the tropics

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

'Roger, I think we need to talk about your trouble with intimacy.'

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"Sure, I was a big hit at the party. . . a smashing success. . . I let it all hang out. . . So, why do I feel so empty inside???"

'You don't like bananas? You don't like climbing trees? My dear, why have you hid this for all these years??'

'That's a cougar, come along, we're here to see the monkeys.'

Taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

'We tried living together, but that didn't work so we've decided to get married.'

Sadomasochists in love

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.

"Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide...in a sports bar with Andrew and Phil."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

Marriage Counseling.