Aesthetic Shopper T-Shirts

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cut Price

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Jungle Stores.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

Books / Coffee table books

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

The Return Of The Minipants