Advice Guru T-Shirts

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

"Actually, Jim, my lawyer won't let me give advice to young people starting out."

"This is going to be a bad one isn't it?"

'It appears Mr. Hepner is still ignoring my advice.'

'Just a tip, never be the bearer of bad news - people will automatically blame you for it...'

"Baldo, we all learn from our mistakes. When I played baseball, a fly ball popped up right above me. If I caught it, we'd win...if I dropped it, we'd lose."

"I can't believe school starts next week."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Self help acupuncture

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Sir Winston Churchill

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Empty box of ideas

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Teamwork!

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."