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Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident Octogenarian asked reader for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I suggest having a steamy, torrid love affair that other people will disapprove of. Nothing can make you feel more alive than that. I know. Kathryn from Ontario. Freak! The fact that you apparently went half your life without having done that disgusts me. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

Ask Sadie. And now a real letter from an actual reader. Dear Sadie, You are infinitely wise and stately. You are a mix of Princess Di, Clint Eastwood, Einstein, and Michelle Obama. I, on the other hand, am such a loser. Do you have any advice? Signed, Rudy Park. Where to begin? I did not. The media does as it pleases.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"Mom, why did Miss Manners never marry?"

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'You've been killing files again.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

The Adventures of Tom Friedman, Boy Reporter

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

Bernard Levin

The Original Gossip Columns

Cops' Right to Beat You in Private Shall Not Be Infringed

Will Self deprecation

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

The Daily Fury

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'