Advertising Analysts Pillows

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'How fast can you hype?'

If nobody had invented graphics

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'We've re-branded.'

Direct Marketing...

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

CATCHY NAME

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

Tim's marketing solutions

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

'It's about time!'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'It has everything... I love it!'

London Olympics.

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

The Bargain Brand

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Posters of the Sahara

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'