Adventurous Traveler T-Shirts

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"They may seem slow and peaceful, but don't underestimate their anti-American rage."

Safari.

Dollywood...Nirvana... 'I'm lost.'

"Have you notice how warm the rain is here?"

'When you said we'd have to 'live out of our suitcase' on this cruise, I thought it was a figure of speech!'

"This is going to be a great video!"

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

Snail man.

"Someone's trying to undercut the budget airlines..."

'Capistrano!'

Lost Tourists looking for a Cultural Capital

Camera and Sign Post.

'So when do I get to see one of those scenic geysers you've been raving about?'

"How about a round the world ticket?"

'Well? How was the flight?'

Welcome Home!

'Nah, the dike's not leaking. I charge tourists five dollars to take my picture.'

Travel: Visit Dullsville - cable available! See Nowheresvilles! Podunk - Bring a book!

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"I can't believe Great Abuelita Zoraida sent me $300 to buy a plane ticket to visit her! Where does she get all this money?"

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Flight simulator

Rats! The GPS-coordinates don't match any known oasis: It must be a mirage...

Kardiff.

"What this place needs is a film festival."

Englishmen in Brittany Pt. 1

Tourette's!!

'You're checking in for our flight--you don't have to play max coins.'

Flightless Birds in a Balloon

'The sharks are amazing here!'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"Last year I took her to the Galapagos Islands, but she still found her way back."

'Is there an empty apartment I can use for cultural events?'

Entering Mudville.