Adult Conversation Enthusiast T-Shirts

'That's where they go for adult conversation.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'