Adolescent Sympathizer Gifts

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

Senior Jeopardy!

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"The government doesn't understand me."

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"Oh come now, darling. When I was your age, I felt different, too."

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

'Oh, great... Big date tonight and I've got a zit on my nose.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

"Stop trying to change me!!"

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"It's hard to believe the adults think he's so lovable!"

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"I don't understand how all the girls grew taller over the summer!"

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

'There it is again...that mysterious feeling that we're clipped from a newspaper and hung on someone's refrigerator.'

"Don't worry your daughter is fine. She's just crabby as hell, and I don't want it to spread."

"Don't mess with him - he's a hard bastard. . . !"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'Here kitty...here kitty...'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

They killed the monster!

'Good news Mom. I got into the college of your choice.'

"Well, they always say it's the thought that counts!"

'But, Grandma, saving the number to SIM is like writing it in your book instead of on your arm.'

'I'm so fat and unattractive... ...I'll never have a boyfriend.'

The fountain of puberty

"I wish you'd come out of your shell a bit more."

"I see that Larry is still self-isolating."

'I think we should just be friends.'