Adolescent Psychology Enthusiast Gifts

'In my day you had to reach puberty before you could act surly.'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I'm the bad guy..."

Pavlov's Puppy

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Blok drives by New York City.

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

"Leon, do you think it's all psychological?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Pavlov's Cat

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Sex Education

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

Mummy Shrink.

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"You have got to want to change."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud