Administrative Expert Pillows

Bureau of Red Tape

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

If I had sleeves, I'd roll them up...

Fed up with unnecessary bureaucracy?...what people don't appreciate is that if they don't fill out their C90D then how can we POSSIBLY know how many C90ds there ARE!

Records?

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

In one ear/Out the other.

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

"Your transfer comes with a bonus - 40 acres and a mule."

Acme Corp - In business since 1927 BG. 'The 'BG' stands for 'Before Greenspan'.'

'Always the wise guy.'

"Ms. Sweeney, take a letter, a memo, an email, a tweet, a text, never mind...I forgot what I was going to say."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

Excessive Paperwork

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

'Good evening! I'm the Abduction Admin Consultant.'

List making as therapy.

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

Oughta reply

"Cutting the budget is easy!...All you need to do is get rid of all that wasteful admin...what do they do!"

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"

"Have you read this report? Staff are spending 60% of their time on admin!"

After Hours Surgery.

It's only an email, what harm can it do?

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

"I've made a decision, Pauline, We're putting everything off till tomorrow."

Director of Lateral Thinking