Administrative Aficionado Pillows

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

After Hours Surgery.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

InIn by-products.

Scapegoat of the Year

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

The little engine that could delegate.

'This is a job for a consultant.'

Corporate Whore.

Female business.

Desk shaped like an office block.

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Monday around 9PM.

"You have a 2 o'clock, a 3:30 and don't forget the monthly finance report is due Friday..."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

"I make it a point to hire people smarter than me."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."