Admin Assistant Pillows

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

"We're not that well organized, but we know where everybody is."

'Somehow, I don't think job-share works for us!'

"Ouch! paper cut"

'You have office gossip.'

"Mrs. Carstairs will read her blog of the last meeting."

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Ask not for whom the photocopier jams, it jams for thee.

In, out, and 'Here to stay' trays.

Temp Required for Permanent Position

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Clown at office desk,with IN/OUT boxes(HA! HA! HA!...HO! HO! HO!).

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Mrs Sparby realized she didn't have the right personality to be a receptionist, but she was able to improvise and keep her job.'

"Whoa, our cartoonist is named after the patron saint of bulk email - St. Francis of a Cc."

I bet those are accident reports.

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"Sometimes I get the crazy feeling that he blames us for the budget overrun."

"I'm bearly keeping ahead."

The season of goodwill - Mr Claus, North Pole. Dear Santa...

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

"In order to cut down on clerical errors, I've brought in an expert."

"Stop sending him to the copier. You know how hard it is for him to reproduce."

"This job will have you dealing with rude, monosyllabic simpletons on a daily basis...but enough about your co-workers."

Photocopier Marley and the Laminators

"I'm an 'assistance dog'."

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate

"I keep it there as a warning to the next person who might consider borrowing my stapler without asking."

"Hey, Lenny, can you spare a rubber band?"

"I cherish my coffee stirring as a precious moment for quiet reflection."