Adjusting To Parenthood Pillows

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"She's been so creative lately."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Rocking horse

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Knight feeding his kids.

'What's play?'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"When did she start crawling?"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Ask me about my litter! !

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."