Adjusting To Civilian Life Pillows

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

The Camp, Pt. 1

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

'It's taken me time to adjust to the different management style here.'

"It's great to be back. I was going a little stir-crazy working all across the country from home."

Just Married

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

Our first day of distance learning started off well.

Out of Order.

'Normally I prefer to eat out on a beautiful day like this - But I hate people watching me while I eat!'

Christmas package.

"I get the new phone, Timmy gets my phone, Annie gets his phone, Bobby gets her phone and you get his phone, dad, and you get to pay for it all."

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Lockdown: Where every day is just like the last."

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

Pianist wearing face mask.

"I'm sorry, dear, but you knew I was a bureaucrat when you married me."

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

"I like fall because everything goes back to the new normal."

"I used to do interiors but these days I take what I can get."

Sgt. throwing mail on private.

"Yes, dear - now that gay marriage is banned - this wonderful institution of marriage is safe!"

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

Buck private, corporal punishment, general delivery, major disappointment.

'I remain confident we will pull out of this nose dive.'