Adage Collector T-Shirts

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

The pen is mightier th... (than the sword)

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Get a hold of yourself, Jerry! We ALL knew the risks we were taking with the new corporate motto. When you care, it's easy to get hurt!"

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

'My motto is 'What happens at this company, stays at this company'. That's why I take your performance and keep your wage.'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

Trending wise.

'To you, fifty quid - c'mon guv, it's HANDMADE!'

Fenton, Griff, Wintz & Barkins - Attorneys-at-law: The Legal We Do Immediately, The Illegal Takes a Little Longer