Adage Admirer Gifts

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

"Like my grandmother always used to say: 'It's better to phosphoresce than to curse the darkness!'"

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Little help?"

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Czarcasm

bird interprets modern art

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

"A haand gel...!?"

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

Hot cross buns

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"