Ad Whisperer Pillows

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

'We're just not reaching the group between young marrieds and senior citizens.'

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Opening the door to new customers

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Creative accounting.

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

Cellular Plan

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Brad seizes upon a hot trend in marketing: personal pop-up ads.

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

"Yeah, I've been radio-tagged by scientists, so once a week, out of spite, I do something irrational just to mess up their data..."

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

"Retail shares just went up ten percent. My wife must have gone shopping this morning!"

"Mum, you've put it on mute with sub-titles!"

Bureau of Rosy Statistics

"Which swoosh best describes our corporate philosophy?"