Ad-watcher Extraordinaire Prints

'Welcome to the logo-in-each-corner channel'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Roads with a view.

Eat Beef

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Honesty in retail

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

SupermarketAwful Market.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"There are exceptions. Sometimes it's possible to have buzz without any hype whatsoever."

"Who is the fairest of them all? Well, Madame, the answer comes right after this commercial break! Stay tuned!!"

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'