Ad Savant Pillows

"Can you give me your opinion on the 'Paid for' magazines debate?" "Sure...but it will cost you"

The wonderful world of cheese.

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

The Music Lover.

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Justice for a heckler.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

Baroque

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Henry Moore

Sponsoring a Panda

Losing Money on Gas.

'You want me to stop playing video games and go outside to play? In all that air pollution?'

"I could pass him, but he's one of the sponsors."

'How can he remember 38 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"Someone took a photo of my porridge and posted it on social media!"

Man Blowing Trumpet into Drum

Tele underwriting versus direct contact.

"Oh, don't be alarmed...I'm just using this terrible situation to get my Muslim travel ban through the Supreme Court!"

Christmas Sale: Starts November!!

A man walks towards "Enlightenment" while his feet walk towards "Sandals".

In Case of Emergency' a music teacher looks at a big set of earplugs.

"I downloaded your band's new album. It's actually not bad at all."

"This can't be good news."