Ad-free Enthusiast Prints

'I'd like a newspaper with no car, house or mobile phone adverts in it.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

As Seen Watching TV

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

New diet. Look. 1,000,000 visitor. Buy. EOA. Survey. Tired of . Eye test for internet users.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

He said his first words today --- "Side effects".

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

"I even had commercials in my dream last night."

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

'Customers are calling 911 about our product. They need the Jaws Of Life to get into the packaging.'

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

'So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good.'

"Now just say the first thing that comes into your mind."

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

"Stop trying to close all the popup windows, John... just come to bed!"

"Mom, I can't take the stress of social media. I'm running away from my home page!"

Teleshopping

' I don't care if their ad says they stand behind every bed they sell, I want him out of here...'

"Remember, Goodwin, it's a real jungle out there."

'For Heavens' sake, Murray! Corporate identity isn't bad, but do you really have to do this on every commercial spot from your company?'

'Why don't you guys go out and play catch?"