Ad Agency Staff Pillows

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

'How fast can you hype?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

CATCHY NAME

Mouse real estate!

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

The Copywriter's Dilemma

"Do you get the impression poster companies don't like us?"

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"He's coming across as Reaganish but not Reaganesque."

Overly wordy travel.

When hiking trail crosses campaign trail...VOTE!

'I've never read such stupid twaddle in all my life, I like it'

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

"Towards a sustainable future"

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

"Guys, this circular is in today's paper...except the people over there messed it up! Our coolant is $7.99, not $1, battery chargers are $39.99, not $9.99...and hydraulic jacks are $29.99 not $2."

"Then, unfortunately, our market launch ran into a brick wall."