Acupuncture Advocate Pillows

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

Self help acupuncture

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

AI Safety Officer

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

People and robots

"Try letting the ball come to you."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

Creative napping

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"My joints... are almost done"

"Sometimes Ted finds it difficult to leave the holiday spirit behind."

"I'm late for that lecture on the importance of relaxation!"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"Ten years of therapy, and finally I’ve managed to replace my rage addiction with sarcasm."

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'