Actuaries Gifts

'There must be some mistake. According to our actuary tables I'm going to live to 83.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Swiss army knife

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Knights of the Square Table.

Rutger Shower

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I got it from eBay."

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'So he eats the odd secretary now and then. He's our top actuary and I intend to make him a partner.'

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

The Battle of the Pictures.

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."